How to Keep Dating Your Partner (and Why It’s so Important!)

A night of Netflix and chill can be nice every once in awhile, and sitting down on the couch next to your partner as you scroll on your phone can feel like an acceptable way to zone out. But neither one of these things should be the standard for how you spend time with your partner.

Think about it: What did you and your partner do together when you first started dating? You were getting to know each other, finding ways to connect, and doing things together. It’s so easy to feel disconnected from the one you love when you’re not putting enough time or energy into each other. Yet, emotional intimacy helps maintain healthy relationships, sex drives, and sexual connection.

Of course life happens, but it’s important to realize that love, romantic connection, sexual desire, and sexual chemistry take time and conscious effort. You have to purposefully shift your energy into reconnecting and focusing energy into your relationship. You have to offer your partner the presence of your body AND mind.

Here are some ways you can bring dating back into your relationship so that you can connect with your partner and be present in your relationship.

Take a day trip.

Have you been talking about doing something for forever but just haven’t found the time to do it? Whether it’s making a quick trip to the coast, a nearby lake, or green space or exploring a town nearby, schedule some time and get out there. Adventures and shared experiences bond us with one another and strengthen our connections.

Bonus Tip: Create a playlist for your trip that reminds you of when you first started dating or of other important memories from your relationship.

Learn a new skill.

Learning a new skill or taking a class together is great for giving focus to your interactions with one another. Sometimes, things can feel awkward, even if we intimately know someone. So, having that focus will take pressure off of both of you. Doing something new together also encourages you both to be completely present in the moment.

Do you want to learn how to cook a fancy dinner together? Maybe you’re both curious about shibari. Do you want to learn new dances? The possibilities are endless.

Bonus Tip: To save money, take a class online together. You can look into services like Master Class or Skill Share. You could also check out YouTube for learning a new skill. For example, YouTube has some great salsa dancing videos, and you can practice, dance, and laugh together in your own home without spending a dime.

Move together.

Go for a walk, hike together, or dance with each other—just move together. Getting your blood pumping together is a great way to stay healthy and get those endorphins flowing.

We bond through touch and shared experiences, and physical activities (whether they’re sexual or not) are great ways to initiate physical contact. Hold hands while your walking. Hug for a selfie on the hiking trail.

Plus, you never know what bonus effects physical movement could have on your sex life. You could even use physical movement as foreplay and for building sexual tension.

Bonus Tip: This can help you to find new places to explore, whether you’re taking a walk into town or discovering new trails to blaze. Gentle movements like yoga are accessible and modifiable for most bodies, and they can inspire new sex positions too!

Play into the cliché.

Do the clichéd date night and play up the romance as much as you want. Go out to dinner, see a movie, go bowling, maybe even try ax-throwing! If you make a whole night of it, you can give you and your partner something to look forward to, talk about, and reflect upon. You can make the date as romantic and fun as you want.

Bonus Tip: Leave the phones at home or in the car to engage fully with your partner. While photos are nice to document a moment, checking your phone can be a major mood killer. Be present with one another and enjoy each other’s company.

Want to learn more?

If you want to know more about how to make more meaningful connections with your current partner or with new partners, then check out my ezine’s The Dating Issue and The Online Dating Issue. Also, make sure to check out my book This is Supposed to Be Fun for secrets on dating, having healthy romantic relationships, on having a better sex life, and on what you may be doing wrong in your dating life.

You can also chat with me. As an experienced sex and dating coach, I’ve helped people better understand their bodies, improve their relationships, answer questions that they may not feel comfortable asking others, and improve their sex lives and dating strategies. Click here to learn more about sex and dating coaching with me.