Is Your Hormone Cycle Affecting Your Sex Life?

You may be asking: Why am I in the mood and my partner isn’t (or vice versa)?

It can feel frustrating if your sex life feels like you and your partner keep missing each other. But the causes of mismatched libidos may surprise you.

Sex drive is affected by many factors, including mental health, rest, medication, drugs/alcohol, and exercise. Our hormone cycles can also play big roles in our libido and can differ depending on if you’re a penis-haver or a vulva-haver. Let me break down the basics of different body cycles and offer you some insight on how hormone cycles can affect your libido and sex life.

Vulva-haver hormone cycle: Menstrual cycle phases

Most vulva-havers’ cycles are approximately 28 days long. The order of the phases are typically 1) the menstrual phase, 2) the follicular phase, 3) the ovulation phase, and 4) the luteal phase. With each phase comes a change in hormone levels that can impact sex drive. Here’s a breakdown of how these levels can affect sex drive.

Menstrual Phase

This phase can cause some vulva-havers to have a lower sex drive due to cramping, fatigue, and a general feeling of moodiness. But, for others, this can be a time of arousal. Estrogen is beginning to rise and progesterone is low. A potential bonus for sex during this time is pain relief from the endorphin rush an orgasm brings.

Follicular Phase

During this phase, the follicle forms, which causes estrogen to increase in your body and eventually leads to ovulation. Higher levels of estrogen at the tail-end of this phase could mean your libido will be on the rise!

Ovulation Phase

Many vulva-havers experience an overall higher sex drive during this phase (or right at the end of the follicular phase). This is because the hormone estrogen is at its peak levels.

From a biological standpoint, the increased sex drive could be caused by your body’s biological desire to reproduce. Afterall, this is when your body is at its most fertile phase.

But, in addition to estrogen levels increasing during this phase, oxytocin is also on the rise. Oxytocin, nicknamed “the love hormone,” can help with your libido as well as overall romantic attraction.

Luteal Phase

During this phase, progesterone is at its highest but will begin to drop off if you don’t become pregnant. After a quick drop in estrogen, your body will begin to produce estrogen again. You might experience a lower mood and lower libido during this time. This phase is the optimum time for rest and self care.

Penis-haver hormone cycle

Most penis-havers are on a 24-hour cycle with testosterone levels peaking each morning. Here’s a breakdown of how these levels can impact sex drive.

Morning

Each morning, testosterone is at its highest. High levels of testosterone can give you more energy and focus, leaving penis-havers readily equipped for the traditional work day! This can also be a great time of day to have sex.

Afternoon

By afternoon time, testosterone levels have begun to drop, but they’re still not low. Generally, this can be a good time to focus and get work done. Your sex drive is probably not as high as it was in the morning, but sex may still be on your mind.

Evening

At the end of the day, testosterone levels are at their lowest. As your body begins to wind-down and prepare for the next day, your sex drive is likely to drop. You might feel tired and unmotivated for sex by the time you’re ready to go to bed.

Key takeaway

You and your partner’s hormone cycles may be responsible for why you don’t always align on when you are interested in sex. Talk with your partner about their cycle and yours. It may be helpful to use a cycle tracking app. Sometimes just knowing when you will most likely align and planning on these times to connect sexually will make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.

Keep in mind that hormonal imbalances, health conditions, medication side effects, and other conditions may affect your unique hormone cycle. So, they can affect your sex life and your sexual health. The better you can understand your body and its hormone cycles, the better you can understand your sex drive and work with your body to have a better sex life.

Want to learn more?

If you want a game plan for mismatched libidos or if you want to understand more about your libido, then check out my ezine’s The Different Libidos Issue.

Also, keep in mind that hormones after having a baby can have extraordinary impacts on people’s lives. So, if you’re thinking about having a baby or if you are postpartum, then I highly recommend that you read The Sex After Baby Issue.

You can also chat with me. As an experienced sex and dating coach, I’ve helped people better understand their bodies, answer questions that they may not feel comfortable asking others, and improve their sex lives and dating strategies. Click here to learn more about sex and dating coaching with me.